I can see why the idea of God is so comforting to so many people. I've been an atheist for as long as I can remember. I lost my faith when even after years of talking to idols, the abuse did not stop, school never got tolerable and the loneliness never stopped eating me up. I begged, I pleaded and cried, nothing worked.
An inefficient God is no God, I thought.
And then when I saw other happy people, the dreaded question, "Why me?" hit.
Sent me into the depths of depression. Because there must be something wrong with me, I'm not good enough, I deserve this; was the only rationalisation I would come up with.
And when I heard people saying God does it because He has a plan, I realised how comforting these words were. Something is wrong, you can't find a rational explanation, and not knowing why kills you. Then you think because there is someone up there with a plan for you. 'A Plan' is a rational course of decided actions and the existence of this rationality, though unfathomable by you *now*, is comforting as fuck.
That there is someone out there, with something planned for you, thinking of you, even if you don't know why, is weirdly comforting simply because of the promise the unfathomed rationality that it offers.
Do I now believe in God? No.
Would I like to? I don't know.
All I need are rational explanations to kill the uncertainty of the future.
Because when you have those, God loses his purpose, and a useless God is no God.
