Of Star-Dust and Unplanned Naps

You start small.

You start by realizing that you’ve been stunting yourself, cutting corners to fit into a box that someone else chose for you.

You start by realizing that the bed you’ve been sleeping in has lost all its utilitarian value.

It can no longer hold the ever growing, magical phenomena called your body now; 
it is way too old for that.

You know; honestly,

The fact that you exist is a miracle in itself!

The odds of you never coming into existence surpass the minuscule chance of your presence by a mind blowing margin, and yet,

Here you are!

Coursing in your veins is ancient wisdom,

Elements of a star that probably once shined brighter that the Sun,
now run through your body,

You are a living, breathing bit of star-dust, born with a spark in your brain and twinkle in your eyes,

You were here to change the world!
And;

As if your existence wasn’t miracle enough, 
your survival is a different wonder in itself!

Every day that you’ve been here, your body has always had the choice to simply stop existing.

So many people die every day;

‘His heart gave out’,

‘She’s brain dead. A vegetable, capable of life, incapable of living it’

‘The voices in her head got to her. At her own hands, she’s passed’

You hear these words often enough for it to feel like a normal occurrence

And yet,

Your body chose survival!

But what have you done to this little bit of magic called you?

You’ve denied it even the simple pleasures it deserves,

Simple pleasures – of good food, of good company and of a good night’s sleep

Lying down, curled up and crumpled - on a small cramped bed you never chose - you’re punishing yourself, but why?

So,

You start small.

You start by realizing that the bed you’ve been sleeping in has lost all its utilitarian value.

It can no longer hold the ever growing, magical phenomena called your body now; 
it is way too old for that.

You start by deciding that you deserve a bigger place for your weary body to rest.

You start by explaining to yourself that sometimes, 
money needs to take a back seat when essential comforts are running the show.

You start by not going on a guilt trip after you’ve brought the bigger bed, 
convincing yourself that it is okay, partially because you need it and partially because you can afford it.

The first time you sleep on this gigantic bed, big enough for three other people like you,

You sleep on one side.

Extreme Left

Or

Extreme Right

If your old bed was stuck against the wall, and you’re used to getting off the bed from one side alone, chances are- it’s the same side you choose here as well.

And you wake up awkward and cramped again
 and you wonder what went wrong.

You’re on a big bed, you’ve earned it, you’ve brought it, but evidently;
you’re still not convinced you deserve it.

Looking around in that typical, groggy haze that a badly timed, unplanned nap brings along, it sort of smacks you in the face:

The awareness that you’ve the entire big bed to yourself

It’s a box you’ve chosen for yourself, it’s a box you do not have to share.

So as you roll over again to the center of that soft cloud of comfort, 
wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket in the process,

You let out a muffled, satisfied exhale and you realize:
 

Your time has finally arrived.

And then you snore with gay abandon.