Hoping Beyond Hope...

We sit down, hands held, looking out of the window, smiling, talking. We watch trains rush by and realize our pace is slower than the world. We talk, like, *talk* talk.

I tell you stuff that happened in college, and you are genuinely interested. You laugh at my jokes, and tell me things. Or we sit and watch TV. We smile at each other.

I tell you I'm tired and you smile and say that you understand. You say I've been doing good. You tell me you are proud of me. After such a long time, you appreciate me.

I'm feeling happy about this, when suddenly you clasp my hand very tight. You are in pain. Then the realization hits me. How could I have possibly forgotten? The sights, sounds and the smells...

Its the hospital we are in, and its just that you need me right now.

I call the nurse and she gives you some pain killers, and while they take the time to work, you hold my hand tighter, withering in pain.

I know it really hurts. Cold sweat, tears, nausea all gush out, and its hard to keep a poker face and tell you it will all be okay, but I try.

And slowly, the pain does go away. The pain killers are really strong.

You gently fall asleep, my hand free from your clasp, and I wonder if you would go back to being yourself when we get home.

And I hope against hope I'm wrong.

And I'm praying you'll talk to me when we are home.

Because your silence can hurt real bad too, and unfortunately, Mum- there is no pain killer for that.

Pearls Of Wisdom....

There is this person I've known all my life, and that person, lets call them, SoBu (short for Social Butterfly) has these really interesting and perspective changing opinions about life. I sometimes feel like I have lot to learn from Sobu, yet I have so little time to do that...!

Lest I forget, I'm going to jot them down here..

Respected Sobu, may your wisdom take over from here:

"Evolution has turned us into vegetarians. Our teeth have gone smaller in size cause we only eat vegetables. Our nails can't be used for hunting because we use our hands only to grow veggies and eat them."

And here I was, the loser thinking we have smaller teeth because we cook meat and smaller nails because we hunt with weapons. Silly me!

"His weight is increasing because I've to cook food with lots of masala for you"

Lets just forget that alcohol, deep fried snacks do that too. We will die cause you like your food tasty. Cruel me!

"Gays and Lesbians are unnatural.. No animals have sex with the same sex."

Right. No animals abort. Shouldn't we stop doing that too? Animals using condoms? Never heard of it. We should stop too. Never heard of animals praying to God, either. Ignorant me.

"We don't hate you because you *don't* do drugs, alcohol or ciggys, but because you don't keep your shoes in place or because your bag is always lying open."

Fuck! I just disgraced the family be doing that, didn't I? Shit! Shit! Shit!

"You couldn't learn the spelling of adamant in school."

Lets forget that I'm about to graduate, and I have auto correct doing it for me, I'll be reminded of past failures so I'm never to happy with myself. Way to keep my ego in check. I'm indebted, Sobu. *Grateful smile*

"Its the monsoon and your Scooty is new. You should drive slowly, new tyres just don't have that grip, you know"

Aww...! In the simplest of ways, Sobu cares!

"You behavior is what it is because of your bad blood."

Why! I never know you were secretly into blood erm.. err... research about blood, I mean. And who knew, blood had behavior influencing properties!

As if diets based on blood types weren't enough, Sobu made an earth shattering discovery in the realms of human psychology. Give Sobu the Nobel prize already!!

Sobu however, doesn't talk to me anymore. Maybe I should pay for them pearls?

*Sob Sob*

And I'm sure Sobu won't be happy to see that I'm spreading these pearls of wisdom. Especially cause they could have earned a lot of money. Sobu hates thankless jobs, you know. But it doesn't matter. It is really important that the world be made aware of its ignorance.

Here is a song dedicated to Sobu. This should make you happy.

Love you Sobu,

Yours Truly,

WispySilver

A mad tea party of conversations...

Since I'm jobless and college-less at the mo, I'm watching every movie that WB, StarMovies and the Cable wala throw out and one such movie was Alice in Wonderland. I've seen it 4 times already.

But I'll tell you this, I adore Johnny Depp's talents. The movie, I'm not sure if I like it, but Johnny Depp, totally.

Then I've coerced the *best* friend into selling me his iPod Touch, now that he has an iPad 2. The said iPod, narcissistically called Ashish's iPod (my little nano had names like iSneeze, iPukes or Casper) coincidently or not, has the original Alice in Wonderland on Stanza.

And I'm 19 and I've never read Alice in Wonderland as a kiddo. You can blame it on my school's poorly stocked library or the fact that the only children's author we knew was Enid Blyton.

Though I'm addicted to reading, thanks to Amma, who'd never think twice about spending money on all Nehru Book Trust books, Harry Potters, and a little later, on Sheldons, Archers and Dan Browns.

Anydo, here is 19 year old reading Alice in Wonderland, for the first ever time in her life. And come to think of it, it has so many things I could never have understood as a kiddo, and so many things that totally make sense now. The conversations in the book are lovely.

So I'm listing down some of my favorites here, and the list will increase as the plot progresses, I'm sure.

Here goes the start of a continuous post:

** "Speak English" said the Eaglet. "I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do either!"

**"Why" said the Dodo, "the best way to explain it is to do it."

(if only the teachers knew :P)

**"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid sir" said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."

**"If everybody minded their own business," the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, "the world would go round a deal faster than it does."

**"If it had grown up," she said to herself, "it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes a rather handsome pig, I think."

**Alice: "Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go on from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where-" said Alice

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go" said the Cat

"-so long as I get somewhere" Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you are sure to do that," said the Cat, "if only you walk long enough."

"Well, I've often seen a cat without a grin," thought Alice; "but a grin without a cat! its the most curious thing I ever saw in my life"

(to be continued)

One Day

One day, I'd like to get drunk, really really drunk, and come back home late at night, say around three, and ring the door bell just to see what mum has to say.

But I guess now I'll have to wait till I'm 25 to do that. Maybe I should pay taxes only after I'm 25, vote only after I'm 25, and do my part for the country only after I'm 25.

...

This country depresses me.