A Dog's Tail

So, * pregnant pause* I screamed at my boss.
No really, I did! On the top of my voice, with the whole one-hand-on-my-hip and the other one pointing a finger at her, making her feel guilty for all that she did.
So, here's how it goes...
After all of us articles decided to 'boycott' the office over a day for some petty issues, the bosses got their knickers all tied up and they called us for a meeting next day, where I shamelessly hinted at a "greater" cause.
After that I and 4 other co-articles walked into her cabin for 'discussing' stuff and when her bullshit reached the limit, my Agni-V launched itself on to her. I yelled at her, insulted her, pointed out each of mistakes and let her know that her lack of planning, unwillingness to take the lead and encouraging us to do the work was causing delays. Her taunts and and her manner less bitching about me to the other colleagues and her unprofessional ways of spreading lies about me were the reason I didn't want to work there anymore.

'If you don't like my goddamn work say it to my bloody face upfront' I screamed at her. 'Gimme a transfer if you think the quality of my work is shit' I yelled.
She sat there, slowing sinking into her chair, getting all teary eyed, saying, "I never did that" and justifying each of her petty little decisions.
And this lady is a CA.
A CA who got yelled by her articles, who thought I was necessary to justify her actions to them. A CA who doesn't even realize 'Who's the boss'.

 I have had my doubts that "CA" is 'the thing to do' is just a product of false publicity and some day these silly expectations will be shattered, and people will realize that not *every* CA is up to the mark and the institute produces more failures than successes. This whole incident stands testimony to my predictions.


P.S. Even after this drama, she called my colleagues (i.e., her juniors) to tell them that she thinks whatever I said was correct and she did make mistakes and she'd try and improve.

 Say it to my bloody face upfront, you bitch.
 ;)

If I hadn't met him...

If I hadn't met him the way I met him, I'd probably have met him like this.


She walked into that small cafe at the corner near her apartment, glad to find her favorite table empty. She smiled at the owner and asked the waitress for the usual as she sat down by the table overlooking the street. Sitting there, she could be oblivious to the world as she devoured her latest find at the book store or she could sit there, looking at every movement on the street, lost in her own thoughts.
She opened her bag, took out the book she was reading as the waitress got her order. Smell of coffee, and the smell of a brand new book, and she was lost.
She'd almost lost awareness of her surroundings until a guy gently tapped the table and asked her if he could join her.
Barely looking from her book, she gave a small nod and he sat down. "Thanks" he said. She looked at him from over her book, gave a slight nod and went back reading.
"So, whats the best thing about this place?" He asked.
"The waitress would know." She said
"I'd like to know what you think is good." He said.
"Coffee" She said, almost going back to her book, but suddenly looked back into his eyes and said, "and strangers who don't butt into other peoples businesses"
"Okay, then, I'm __ and I talk to computers for a living." He chimed.
She looked at him quizzical when he said, "Not a stranger anymore, right?"
She smiled one of her rare smiles, the ice melting away and the book ignored on the table as the two got talking.

She still thinks it a coincidence that the cafe was so full that they had to share a table, and he still thinks its funny that she never noticed how empty the cafe was when they first met.

Signs that things aren't going too well...

..at the office, of course!

A junior called me the other day, asking me if there is a vacancy at "my" firm, and all I could blurt out to her was a big arse NO. I mean, yes there is vacancy, and yes, we could do with a few more smart, willing to work people around, but I'm not really cruel, and I'd never subject anyone else to Azkaban, would I?

So here's my little list of "You know your office sucks when..."

1. You come home for lunch and never go back

2. If you were the deserted-nerdy-types at school, your office reminds of School.

3. You suddenly are missing your school

4. You wish your boss had a spine

5. You *really* understand what people mean when they say, "Don't join an office with too many women in it."

6. As an Article, you start looking at work like a three year long formality.

7. You really understand, with practical demonstrations, how the power of idiot manifests itself.

8. When the office teaches you "How not to run an office"

9. When you can't wait for Saturdays.

10. The happiest time in the office is when it's lunch.

11. You are delighted when the Chai-wala arrives.

12. The only human in the office is this nice lady who does the errands.

13. When you cover your ears every time the loud admin auntie opens her mouth.

14. When you are glad you aren't a first attempt pass because of the numerous ass clowns belonging to that category you have to deal with everyday.

15.You think the term "CA" was just insulted when your boss used it before her name.

16. You realize why manners are important.

17. You take the time out from your Suppa-Beejee schedule to block all co-workers from your FB account.

18. You scream, "Bitch Please" in you head every time someone opens their mouth.

19. You feel like a superhero every time you tell someone to not join your firm.

20. You curse your intelligence.

21. Thanks to your critical observation of the boss, you can now write a book titled "1001 ways to demotivate someone".

22. The time spent on fiddling around with stationary has taught you as much about physics as angry birds.

P.S. I like my work, or I think I like to convince myself that I do. But one thing is for sure, the main trouble at my work is people who lack basic manners. People who are downright rude and inconsiderate.

And this kind of talent takes a lot of time to develop, and as impressive as it is to be a Medusa all the time, its kind of disgusting too.

Conversations...!

The main characters in this little plot are two people,

Me, the arrogant ass atheist and Dolt, a very spiritual, believer of a person. I'm using 'Dolt' because I've had this conversation, on many different occasions with a multitude of people, and I don't want to name anyone specific. Starting from School, and even now, in the last year of College, this little question sure knows how to make a come back.

*Someone announces something complicated*

Me: Hey Raam!

Dolt: How can you say that? (Like I've just said Voldemort out loud)

Me: *shrugs* what?

Dolt: That. Hey Raam..

Me: Act clueless, hope they don't want to get offended.

Dolt: You are an atheist, no? How can you say Hey Raam?!

Me: Beats saying 'what the fuck' anyday.

Dolt: Facepalm

As much I want to tell them that it's just a habit, something that comes out involuntarily every time I need to exclaim; over the time, I've realized that this answer shuts them up the best.

Its an involuntary habit, not worthy enough to waste my time changing it.

;)

Signs of Love

I've recently started reading "Celebrating Silence" by His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and what he has to say about love is, umm, well, exotic.

He says,

"Here are the signs of love: When you love someone you see nothing wrong with them. Even if you see a fault in them you just justify it in some way - "Everyone does that; it is normal." You think you have not done enough for them and the more you do, the more you want to do for them. They are always on your mind. Ordinary things become extra-ordinary. A baby winking at its grandmother becomes an extra-ordinary event. When you love someone, you want to see them always happy and you want them to have the best"

While I was reading it, I was thinking of someone, were you?

The Hypocrisy Called Religion

This is a standard scene in most early morning trains, ladies pushing each other, cursing someone's big bag, someone else's umbrella and in general being rough and using their elbow as a weapon so they get the best seat in the train.

And soon after that, out comes this really tiny Sanskrit/ Marathi book with god praising stuff written over it. The Church, for convenience, gives its Bible in a little black pouch, with a nice little zip, and the entire thing probably is waterproof. Or there are ladies fondling beads and chanting something.

Its funny how these brain washing cults who are so hell bent on having 'traditions' followed and getting people to behave like its the stone age rely so heavily on modern technology and creativity to keep hammering their message.

Somehow a lady who manages to remember God, considering the busy schedule she has, paints a picture of a really nice woman, the helpful aunty types, you know. But take an early morning train and you'll know that its the most stupid misconception that's been stuffed down our throats.

These women, who make it look like they are remembering their Lord Almighty, look at every new face that boards the train, manage to notice every piece of accessory that's being used and when someone, very politely requests them to shift a little so they can sit, they go into bitch-mode-over-drive.

You'd expect their god almighty to teach them a few lessons in being polite, won't you? And why even pretend you are reading that stuff, when clearly, you lack the interest?

At least I'm a shameless atheist who hates em all with equal passion ;)

*shrugs*

A Confident Splash of Red...!

The world suddenly has woken up to the impact that bright, plump, full red lips make. Its like the classic color riding another fame wave...

Red is that dynamic color that makes you look sexy, confident, pretty, self-assured, diabolic or even evil, depending on how you'd like it to make you look..!

Red, frankly is not a girl's color. It belongs to a lady who is a class apart. Red lips make you look in control, powerful, and most of all, brave. Not everyone can carry off a nude face with a big 'boing' of the bright, blood colored splash.

Red is the color of a woman in control. Someone who knows what she is doing. Who takes her own decisions and makes her own choices.

However, it did not take re-awakening fashionistas to tell me what a dynamite the color red is.

I've known the impact this color makes, from a very young age, thanks to a woman who'd 'earned' her red lips.

She was my school's Principal. A middle-aged lady with snow white skin is the last thing I remember about her. She was that someone who at that time had a bob cut, and fantastic red lips. That lady commanded respect! She looked like the epitome of femme fatale as she walked the corridors of the school on her daily rounds, with an eye for detail that missed nothing.

Her words were limited, chosen and honest. She never talked in vain. So the day she called me to her cabin and told me that I was the only girl who could portray Rani Laxmi Bai for the annual play is unforgettable.

Dedicated to her work, the school was like her baby, and she nurtured it like a dedicated mother would. She resigned while I was still in school, which kind of gave me the opportunity to appreciate her work because the school totally went down south after she left.

Frankly, the only interactions that I had with her, face to face, we the ones where she'd ask me to practice speeches in front of her before I went off for an inter-school competition or when she got us practicing for the annual day celebrations, but the fact that a lipstick shade reminded me of her stands proof that the Lady knew precisely *how* to make an impact!

;)